The worst feeling is waking up one day and realizing reaching out for help from someone "qualified" did more harm than good. Or just "trying" something in general, when you realize if you did nothing, asked no-one for help, didn't try to apologize, etc. things would have been better. That's the hardest. When you only tried to rectify the situation by being honest and open about everything and it essentially made everything worse. I had to learn the hard way that people are unwavering, hard, unforgiving and heartless that way, and it's best not even to bother with them at all, because they are neurotypical and will NEVER have an ounce of understanding ever. My lesson I learnt - don't touch them with a 10-foot pole.