Hi all - thankyou so much for the solidarity, understanding and connection. It means the world, you are all such a lifeline in this process, particularly on my bleakest days.

In the last two days I've done what I can to push back against the sense of defeat. It hasn't really budged, but I have reached out to a friend, way more than I normally would to try and talk about things, I've put my body in the ocean and I've been for a couple of walks. I'm rehearsing what I'll say to my T about how I am not coping.