My story

I was abused as a child and tried to block it out by day dream. I day dreamed in class at school never learning much and barely interacting with others especially adults.

When I was about 15 I knew there was something seriously wrong with me and that I did not know how to be happy.

Interaction with others was painful. I was more than shy. I was afraid. As a result I was bullied.

Bullied at college but I got top grades. Bullied at work. Once when a girl had me pinned up against a wall and was spitting at my I lost control of my anger and kept punching her till she ran out of the room.

I stopped eating and talking and cried everyday wishing to disappear and die.

I was almost sectioned at 16. I tried to be normal I worked and had two beautiful children but I couldn't cope well as a human being . I was always bullied at work and couldn't sleep at night with worry and anxiety.

I chose abusive partners who were violent and controlling .

I tried to seek help from doctors but they treated me like I was wasting their time when they could be seeing patients with real problems.

With no help and support and being bullied and beaten I turned to alcahol and drugs and lost custody of my children.

I wasn't diagnosed with BPD till a few years ago. I am now 34 but I have struggled all my life.

I am a recluse. I hide away from the world. It feels like there is no hope for me and my life is already older. I can't work any more . I have too many phobias and wouldn't be able to work well with people or control my emotions around them.

I feel I have gotten much worse because I didn't get help from the beginning when it all started.

My life is worse than being in a prison sell locked up. I am lonely and in emotional pain that I don't feel is socially exceptable to talk about with others.

I want to get better. I still have a tiny light of hope that people will one day understand us more and help us more freely and give us the strength to help ourselves

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