You need to trust yourself. Don't automatically put things down to paranoia; that is you taking responsibility for this dr's actions and that's not your job. You need someone you feel comfortable with and trust or this process is so much harder. I was seeing a pdoc before I was diagnosed who kept loading on the SSRIs and not seeing the pattern that every time she did so I got manic and then crashed and was even more depressed. I figured out what was wrong with me myself and since then have been unbelievably fortunate with drs; first I did a clinical trial with a world's top expert and then I changed to the pdoc I've had for 13 years and she's amazing. Having someone good is really important.