I understand, at least to a point, what your saying. I've always been a big person on keeping communication open even if it is going to make someone upset. Bottling things up seems to be much worse in the long run. If things are not said when they are fresh they tend to build up and come out all at once. At some point the issues will be brought up however and usually it ends in a huge fight because everything then comes out at once.

I'm currently in a situation with someone I've been with for almost 13 years. One of the biggest issues is from her not being open and so many times I was not sure what it is that she wanted. There were things I did that she didn't agree with but instead of saying something she just kept it inside. We are now at a point where our marriage is on the frits. Had I known that she had issue with some things I might have been able to change them when they first started. While being open may not always give you the best results at the time in the long run it will make things much better imo.