Thanks fizzyo I;m nothing special for sure , I'm here to find away to stay and support the people who deserve it . I've got come out of this grave that I dug . Everyday is torture find a distraction and throw myself at it . Let some time go by hide in the sleep medication if i can . Slowly face the day as late and best that I can trying to not let too many people down . I 'm not young so energy and time are against me . I only hope getting some of this out there will shock me back . I used to be tougher or so I thought.