I tried multiple times getting out of a bad relationship when I was about your age. The guy would wait 5 weeks and then show up on my doorstep. I would go weak in the knees and be back involved. I'ld feel happy at first. Eventually, I would be miserable and want out again. He had become like an addiction to me. I could end it and be strong for a few weeks. Then I would get vulnerable. How he came up with the 5 week interval of leaving me alone, then showing up again, I don't know. But it kept working for him. Finally, I moveone hundred miles away, and that worked.

So I know this is a hard time for you. The bad memories sometimes fade faster than the good memories. Eventually, it does get easier and easier. Someday, after you meet someone new, you'll start forgetting a lot. Eventually, I could not even remember the guy's birthday.