I've been thinking of a lot of our posts lately and so often we find our way back to the topic of connecting with T. I began to think of the different types of connections we can have during the therapy hour.

There's the supportive connection when I am having a crisis. T becomes gentle and helpful.

Then there's the stern parent kind of connection when T doesn't let me hide behind my dissociation. He says, "Now what would happen if you weren't confused?"

There's the intimate connection when he's going on vacation and I tell him my heart is breaking or when he comes back and I tell him I missed him. This is the hardest of all for me.

There's another level of intimacy that I have only recently experienced and that is when I cry in front of T. I showed him a vulnerability I had never shown before. He was very gentle and connected to me in that moment.

Then there's the sort of intimate/supportive/firm combo T when I call on the phone. He is soft spoken, understanding and holding me to my end of the bargain simultaneously.