Hi everyone!
Just wanted to share my story with you in hopes that others might be able to relate or offer some insight.
I'm a 22 year old college student who recently began seeing a therapist because I was incredibly depressed. I had been dealing with episodes of depression for years, but I always felt that I could manage them until this last time. So the first two sessions, my therapist saw me basically at my worst. However, by the third session, I had completely flipped, or so he says. I was feeling much better, so he asked me numerous questions relating to how I was feeling and whether I felt like this before, ect. He believes that I have bipolar disorder, however he is not sure where I am on the spectrum as of right now. He wants to see me a few more times before he gives me a final diagnosis. He also mentioned that some of the previous episodes I had experienced seemed to have included delusional thoughts.
I just feel like I'm at a loss. I always knew that I had mood swings, but always attributed them to teenage hormones, crazy sleep schedules, and stress from doing too much, as did everyone else around me. None of this feels real to me because while it fits the puzzle, it doesn't (if that makes any sense). If you look at my life on paper, I seem to have it all together. I'm a great student with many extracurriculars and volunteering activities. I've always based my emotional well being on how well I performed in school, regardless of how I functioned alone or outside of school. I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that something might be wrong.

I also have a few questions that some of you may be able to answer/comment about:
1) For those of you who experience delusional thoughts, do you know that they're not real when you're experiencing them? I've been told by others that sometimes my ideas are out there and they can't possibly be true, but I've always felt that they had to be real. I always came up with reasons why and could explain it to anyone based on these reasons. However, I would eventually start to deviate from the absolute belief that they are real, but instead I would start to question them. Do they still seem plausible? Yes, sometimes. I usually reach a point where I think that all of my crazy ideas might not be as real as I thought, but it's hard to completely shake of the idea because it was so real and I had an explanation for everything.
2) My therapist said he's trying to figure out whether my elevated moods are hypomanic or manic. Is there a particular way to be able to tell? I know that mania is seen in bipolar I whereas hypomania is seen in bipolar II, but how does one define too expansive? Does it have to do with functionality?

I hope this wasn't too long of a read!
Thanks for reading! And it's nice to meet all of you!