Hi there Ojroo -- I agree with Pat. It sounds like she may be acting out her grief and that it might be good for her to talk with a counselor. Sometimes counseling is available through the schools, so perhaps your mother can help arrange that if it is available.

What do you think would happen if you stopped nagging her to do her share?

One thing my T has helped me to see is that people need rewards when they do things that are meet our needs; praising my mother (who is in her 80s by the way) when she is supportive has helped change our relationship. Perhaps you can look for little things that she may do -- setting the table, leaving her dishes in the sink -- and praise her for it (even if it doesn't seem like nearly enough). It will get her in the habit of getting a reward for good, helpful behaviors.