I agree with LauraBeth. It sounds completely normal to me that you would experience grief and feel loss after going from seeing the kids every day to only seeing them occasionally. The fact that you've spent five summers with them only makes your bond to them stronger.

It's painful to experience what you're feeling, but it's really a sign of psychological health and shows that you are able to bond with children.

I don't know if it's something you'd want to do, but finding a job or volunteer work where you can spend time with children might be something you'd like.