My husband has a conversion disorder. (When physical symptoms come out from not dealing with emotional stuff) I have been worn to the end from caring for him. (HE can't do basic stuff we take for granted like showering walking, ect...) I never have time for me. Not even when I am sick. I just wanted to go to the YMCA but his symptoms kicked in today. In anger I told him that if he wanted to keep this up and live like an invalid I will buy some diapers and put him in a nursing home. I left for a while to cool down but when I came home he was crying. He said it was not my fault but I know it is. He says he is depressed for a very long time but was to afraid to tell anyone. He did not realize how much he has put me through. At least he is in the hospital getting the help he needs, but I feel soooooooo horrible. I love him. Why did I say what I said. Maybe he needed to hear it. I don't know and feel bad. I have not felt like SI in so long but I actually had those thoughts today. I refuse to act on them but I can't get past this. Sorry to go on and on.