to pat: yes, she has seen 2 therapists but she won't really talk a lot about him and i've tried having the therapist push the subject but my sister avoids it and won't discuss it and i don't want to force her to say anything they doesn't want to say. i don't want to make it seem like she hasn't talked about him at all but yes i do agree it has to do with my brother.

wants2fly: the thing is she doesn't even clear the dishes, set the table and if we ask her she gets defensive and says shes doesn't want to and walks out of the room and thats when i have to tell her to do it rather than ask her. finally she gives in but stalks off to her room.

i just wish she was more cooperative and that she didn't get to me to that much. thanks for the advice.