I'm glad your new doc was understanding. That's good to hear!
I have a similar issue when I have my exam in that my doc needs to use the smaller speculum, and it's difficult for her to get the sample she needs for the pap. I've been with my doc for over 25 yrs and she's always tried to be as quick and gentle as possible. I told her way back in the beginning how nervous these exams made me, but I've never been brave enough to tell her why (the abuse).