:-)

maybe my t is trying to make extra special sure he is there for me so i don't fall apart when the guy leaves. i've said over and over 'bout how scared i get that people are going to leave. that i'm scared to let people in because i'm scared i'll break into a million pieces when they leave. i'm kinda letting the guy in, though. kind of letting him in. i'll miss him when he goes. if he were staying around would i have got as involved with him though? maybe not. maybe not. definately not so fast (all but moved in lol). ambivalent about the prospects of a long term thing. enjoying the short term thing, though. not sure. get little twinges of concern / upset / panic. past stuff, i think. but sometimes i worry a little... not so sure.

t said something about it being... 99% my past %#@&#!? 100%??? I went with accepting the 100 estimate. but... i dunno. i dunno. enjoy it, huh. nice t is making time for me. incase things turn to custard. in case i turn to custard. t is there for me. yup. yup yup yup. i feel half in a dream... what am i doing??? tis okay alex_k. tis okay. er... isn't it?????