Thank you for your messages. I forced myself out of the house this morning, first time in quite a few days now, and I really screwed up. I've done something bad. Now I feel terrible, it's going to cost me a lot to fix. I'm such a ***** up. I may aswell not go out. At least if I stay in I won't be able to impact on anyone's lives. I can't even say what I did, i'm that ashamed. I hate myself so much, I don't want to be me anymore. All I ever do is screw things up.