Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more..


Sorry. I had to lol. Well, love means different things to different people. In my opinion, the type of love you are explaining is unsustainable. I did have that type of relationship once, and although it was amazing it was also extremely hard and heartbreaking. Eventually, like most relationships like that it did eventually end. It's been over two years and I still haven't got over it. And like you, I keep thinking that my next relationship needs to be like that.


It isn't a bad thing to wish for, but I think that it's very hard to keep a relationship like that going. The fact is, infatuation is unhealthy. Although the feelings of love are extremely intense, everything else is intensified as well. People also tend to become obsessive and jealous in relationships like that. And a lot of people would say that infatuation isn't love at all, and in some ways I agree and in some ways I disagree. I guess there are different kinds of infatuation.


There are ways to keep an intense relationship going, of course, but there has to be very good communication and trust. You also both have to be able to give each other space if needed. I don't think that you have to give up on finding the perfect guy for you, but remember the perfect partner is different things to different people. He doesn't have to be the "tall, dark, and handsome" you are describing, as long as he is perfect to you. And while love does require physical attraction in my opinion, you don't always have to be extremely attracted to someone to eventually fall in love with them. Sometimes that attraction builds naturally by falling in love with their other qualities first. My ex wasn't the dream girl I had always imagined, but she was perfect to me and I fell in love with her imperfections too.


So that brings me to your original question. To me, love is a bond. It's a bond that is unbreakable. That doesn't mean that you won't ever break up, but to me when you are truly in love with someone you always will love them. You might have to move on and find someone else, but they will always be in your heart. That is the way it is for me at least, although my ex and I have been separated for so long, she's always going to have a place in my heart no matter what and I will cherish the good memories we shared together.


Really though, you just have to figure out what love is to YOU. Because the definition is different for everyone.