I think the difference between our 2 situations KathyM is that whereas you know your friend will be there for you,when I really needed my friend not too long ago she wasn't,said she "couldn't be".I know from her general behaviour that that's not true.Ill or not,if she's really really wanted to do something,she's always done it.She used to derive something from our friendship too-so was prepared to be supportive etc.Currently,she doesn't feel the friendship meets a need in her so, she won't make the effort.Many many times when she's needed help and support ,both practically and emotionally,I've given it.It's not there the other way round.