Hi Psycho123!

Thanks for your insight. Yes, you are right of course, but if you think about it, that means most people are faking it.

You see, I know being autistic I lack the spontaneity and the perceptive ability to be effectively interested in someone in appearance. You see, I am interested, but it's my lack of ability to express that in such a way that someone else can actually see it. What people see and what truly is going on is not the same with me. Now, I know that sounds like an excuse, but unfortunately it is true, and trust me, I'm not happy admitting it, I don't like lacking a certain crucial human ability, I mean, who does?

But, be that as it may, the only real way I'm going to get it right is to "learn" it. That's the problem with this condition, that natural ability is not there, and you really do feel it when you have it. You can feel the blankness, the "not knowing what to say or ask next" feeling, and it ruins friendships.

Even people who feel nothing and care not one ounce about another don't have the problem I have. It's all about expression by me and perception by the other individual.

I can be interested a million times more than anyone else, and yet, it won't even show in my face, my words or my actions, and the other person just thinks I don't give a damn, so they avoid me.

But, back to the faking part. It's true that people care about themselves only, so all this friendliness and stuff you see among them is probably feigning of interest anyway. And it's easy because most "normal" people are all interested in the same things anyway, so they always have a lot to talk about.

When you peel away the "Hey, what rock concert did you go to this weekend?" and the "Hey, how many drinks did you have last night?" questions, then what else is there really to talk about or be interested in?

You see, I learned long ago that one can never take the full burden of trying to make "something work" squarely onto your shoulders. There needs to be something from both sides.

I totally understand what you're saying, and I've been there, only to learn that people's perceptions get in the way.

If you're not perceived to have the ability to be interested in someone to start with, then people are not willing to allow you to be interested in them, because it's not what they were expecting.

People like what is normal and comfortable, and if you push those boundaries (even involuntarily like I do), then they shut you out.

You mentioned a dog being interested in a person. What if you replace that dog with what is perceived as a dangerous animal? Would you be comfortable with a snake or alligator instead of a dog as a pet, even if it shows tons of interest in you? Your snake coming up to you and curling up in your lap? That puts a whole new spin on things.

And that is exactly it. Nobody is interested in me. Your rule of thumb goes both ways. People perceive me as not being worth the effort and the time.

I can't describe to you how it feels. There is definitely a pushing away feeling I get from others. I try to show interest, they don't want me to. Truly, I am not imagining things. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I guarantee you I'm not.

When I show interest in people, they push me away, they run away and try to get away from me. If it's emails and things, they ignore me. If I see them face to face, they say they are busy and try to get away. I know people are trying to avoid me, it's very obvious to me.

All those things you mentioned - did that, tried that and failed. Been there, done that, didn't get the t-shirt.

If you alone take full responsibility for all the things gone wrong, you just end up depressed and the others who had a hand in it walk away and just live their lives, happy and not a care in the world.