Hallie that sounds like anxiety to me too. For me anxiety complicates my depression by keeping me from doing things, which in turn makes my depression worse at times. I once ended up in an episode where I literally sat and stared for months, not able to even read or watch TV. It started with depression and then isolation. The more I isolated, the worse it got until I could barely talk.

The depression I'm in now is as painful as that one and I was thinking about it the other day, wondering what's different. This depression is the deepest darkest one I've had since then, and the first one my husband has been so worried about since then. It was the last time suicide was actually a risk. It is again, but this depression is different. I might actually be headed into a bit of a hypo/mixed state but I'm not sure.

What is different and my point is this: I've been leaving my house. The other day someone invited me to go for a hike. I agreed and was having near panic attacks, almost crying I was so overwhelmed with the idea of leaving the house and going. I almost cancelled.

But I went, and I actually felt almost happy for a few hours. It did me the world of good. Had I given in to my anxiety, I would have been mired in the anguish I've been living in almost all day every day.

Sometimes I find it's good to push myself. Other times pushing myself causes too much stress and I have a melt down. Sometimes it's hard to know which I need.

What I do know is giving in to that kind of anxiety all the time, especially when I'm depressed leads me to a very dark place. Sometimes cocooning is what I need and I pull back and hibernate to feel safe. But I have to be very careful not to fall into a pattern of isolating. That is very dangerous.