OMG cjones! What a story, my heart goes out to you.
I get this feeling that he could get worse, him blaming you, ordering your meal and sulking, buying you things when you clearly said no. I think he needs counselling for his issues and maybe joint counselling regarding your marriage. I do think he's playing mind games with you and gets a buzz doing so.
You need to set some boundaries on what you want, what you'd like with him. I hope he gets the help and that both of you can work this out. Sometimes counsellors will advise you separate while sorting out the issues but, I can't see your hubby agreeing to that.
I've got my fingers crossed for you xx