Hi LifeInProgress. Sorry you are facing a crisis with depression and are trying to cope in ways you used in high school. Unfortunately causing the body pain only gives temporary relief to the depression but permanent damage to the body. Self injury to that degree could mean in hospital treatment.

There are ways to get help besides self harm. Seeing a psychiatrist to prescribe meds can offer a lasting lessening of depression. A therapist can be helpful as well.

Here is the most complete article I have seen on SI.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...05454873,d.dmo

Glad you are part of our community. There are a lot of caring people here. Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Friday at 8PM.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.