I've got a girls phone number. sweet girl. Same interests. absolutely beautiful. The big elephant in the room though is that I live in my mom's place. I usually get depressed at about this time but this time I feel like... what can I offer, what do I have? If it weren't for my project and all the reading and research that goes into that I would feel like a complete loser. This will be the first date I've had since December, because of my situation.

I'm really depressed because I feel trapped in a life that constitutes failure after failure. I'm not going to give up but the odds aren't that good.

So I show up to fight each day and each night.

When I go on a date with this woman I'll feel the butterflies and then the date will be over and I'll then recognize all that's wrong and what I have to do to make it right but I don't know how to get out of this cycle of poverty. I don't make much money.