Hi everyone. I just wanted to say upfront for any helpful replies. I'm literally at the end of my rope and feel like I'm failing miserably at parenting.

Alittle brief background. Two teenage sons (one 17 and 16), both in school and doing well. I am also a single mom,legally blind and recently had heart surgery.

My younger son (16) had got into some trouble with a friend late last year and is now on supervised probation until he graduates. That includes a 8pm curfew every night unless out with me. He has to have no tardies etc with school etc and not allowed to be around anyone that is also on probation or has been convinced of a felony within the last 2 years. Normal probation rules for this state. Here's my problem..

This past spring he began dating a girl (age 14 at the time) from school. No issues with her really. She seemed alittle controlling when it came to texting and calling but meh..teenage relationship, I didnt pay much attention. What we did notice is that after a while, when they were texting each other, he would get up and leave the room and when he came back he was a completely different person. Quiet, grumpy. If you asked what was wrong, he didnt want to talk. He would snap verbally if you asked and basically any topic that had to do with 'her' would cause anger.His grades began to start dropping and I began getting news that he's friend choice at school had got bad. Getting him to do his chores around the house was becoming impossible without an argument.I thought ok it will run its course and be done because my son is the type that doesnt like drama.

At the end of the school year, her and her family moved out of town, 40 or so minutes away and we thought k, she's out of town and has trust issues, the stress should end soon and I won't have to step in. I wanted very much not to say anything, normal teenager stuff you know. But my son and I have always been close. Now I will say that he knows how I feel about her. I have said that he has changed since dating her and not for the better. What makes it all worse is I have worked with her mother in the past. She has a past record of theft and drug use and I know for a fact her and her boyfriend are still in the habit. And my old son is fairly certain that my younger son and girlfriend had sex at some point before she moved (not at our house). I asked him about it and he said yes but in the last argument (just last night) he said no they hadn't.

I'm lost right now. The mother has called before asking if my son can go places with them. but with the curfew and other issues, I tell her no. They all probably think I'm trying to keep them apart because I don't like her but it's more so because of the way he's acting and her manipulating messages and even the mothers manipulation. She has also send him emails saying that if he wants the relationship to work then he needs to spend more time with her.

Sorry for the long-winded post. Like I said before I'm lost. I never wanted to be the "evil" parent but it feels I'm turning out that way.