I'm realising that I need to help myself more. Before I thought this was all going to just go away as I got older, but as my cpn pointed out im nearly 24 and it's been going on for over 10 years. She said schizophrenia doesn't just 'go away'. That I will likely have this for the rest of my life.
I guess ive been trying to wait it out rather than helping myself. But if this is going to be my life I need to get some control back.
So I'm trying to make changes. I'm going to do more baking, as I have quite a bit of time on my hands. I'm going to take up drawing again to try and do some art therapy and draw how I feel. I've downloaded some mindfulness listening exercises to do to try and combat stress. And I'm going to just generally try to get to know myself better; what makes me stressed, what I enjoy, but in a non-judgemental way. I am very harsh on myself so I'm going to try and cut that out and just go with how I feel.
Not going to be easy but I need to do something. I can't live like I have been doing for the rest of my life. I'm surprised I've made it to 24 the way things have been. So I have to try.