(((((((((SongBirdandDaisy))))))))))))))
You are not whining in the slightest. You're expressing how you're feeling, which is perfectly okay and valid. I have 'toxic' family members too, sometimes family has a nasty habit of making us feel worse about ourselves instead of better.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I understand about not wanting to read here because you're afraid you'll get more depressed - that's sometimes how I feel.
Sorry your T is on vacation, but you're not wasting his time if you email him. That's his job, and I'm sure he cares about your wellbeing and wants to make sure you're okay.
Anything I can do to help, let me know. Send me a PM if you ever want to talk about anything. I'm not the best at advice, but I listen.

Many good thoughts going your way.