I don't get how normal people operate.

How is it that easy for them?

How can they just decide to be good people and then actually become good people?

How do they get that much control over their own lives?

How do they always know what is the right thing to do?

Do they ever doubt their judgment or worry that they might fail? Does it ever occur to them that they might, even if through no fault of their own?

How do they learn to control their emotions and their thoughts? How do they take control over everything their bodies do? Am I the only one (or only one of the few) whose body disobeys their wishes? Or am I just weak?

How can they be so confident, so sure that they are the good guys and that they deserve good things?

There has to be some simple secret that nearly everyone else in the world knows except me. Why else would they be so pissed that I can't do what they do as easily as they can?

Sometimes I get mad, and I know I'm not supposed to. It's not their fault that they are functioning the way they are supposed to and I'm not. I'm the one in the wrong, so it's not fair for me to be mad.

It's just sometimes I wish they understood it's not that easy.