Hello Moon11: I have to admit I had some difficulty understanding what you are getting at in your post. As I understand it, you're in a marriage that is unhappy for you. Your wife is threatening to commit suicide if you leave her. You've now met, or at least are in touch with, another woman who loves you & whom you love. But she is encouraging you to stay with your wife. I typically do not give advise, here on PC. But, since you ask, I'll offer my thoughts with regard to your situation, as I understand it.

My thinking with regard to this is that, first you need to separate out the relationship with your wife from the one you have with this other woman. Ideally, I'd suggest that you & your wife get into some marriage counseling so the two of you can come to some conclusion as to where your marriage is going, if anywhere. Your wife is using the possibility of suicide as a way of keeping you in the marriage. Ultimately you are not responsible for what she does or does not choose to do. On the other hand, I certainly understand that you don't want to feel responsible for what she might do, if anything. You either want to figure out a way to make your marriage work, or end it on as positive a footing as possible.

Once you & your wife figure out what course your marriage is going to take, if divorce becomes the final decision, then if this other woman is still in your life & is still interested then the two of you can see if you have a future together. Does this make sense? From my perspective, you simply cannot deal with this all at once. It's just too complicated. If your wife will not agree to enter into marriage counseling with you, then I would suggest that you seek some individual counseling / therapy for yourself, if you can get it. This will at least give you the chance to talk this whole situation through with an objective professional.

I wish you all the best...