Some days that is what I feel like....I suffer from more depression than I do manic states. I am a very driven person..I have a very low self esteem..therefore I spend my time trying to prove that I am worth what I don't think I am. My childhood...there are moments I remember that were happy..but I remember a lot of bad (lets just leave it at that). I have the history of drug and alcohol abuse to some extent and financial problems...However my work performance and attendance has always been good. Most of the time I keep wondering where in the world this person that everyone talks about as being well liked and accomplished is....i look in the mirror and never see her.