So....
There are times in my life where I just want to die. Not that I have a plan to commit suicide, but I just want rest from my life....

People see me as strong with what is happening so I get no sympathy.

Why does my life situation get to take so much from me? Why do I feel selfish when I try to distance myself and heal from my addict, disturbed son? I still feel selfish that I want to die. I have a wonderful life, on paper. In the meantime, I am alone, I am hurt, I am helpless.

I would love to sleep forever, but I have kids, family, friends.

I have a perfectionism that makes me so critical of myself + everything else that everyone faults me for.

What's left? There's times I long for death.