Please, allow me saying this:"at the present moment, I cannot love myself, that should be the expression." It is not necessary for us to decree a thing. You are a young person, you are entitled to hope.
I do not want to minimize your suffering at all, buy at certain extent, all young people go through a hard process to self-accept themselves. I imagine for you it is being too hard because of your background but there is hope.

From a boy in love with us, we do not get self-love, oh, no.
On the contrary, this is the sequence I saw in me and in others, as well:
We do not love ourselves. Somebody approaches us, they are in love with us. Either we refuse them immediately or accept them for a while but subconsciously sooner or later we will consider them despicable. Why? Because nobody really worthy would love us as we do not deserve to be loved, we suck.

Of course, you want to be loved, that is natural. But if you hate yourself, somebody in love with you will be of little help. This is my experience. I made hurt some people searching for love in my youth.

Learning how to love ourselves is a journey and that includes dating, etc. but dating or engaging in a romantic relationship does not improve things per se.