I think you should write her a letter. She seems to be a bit self-absorbed or selfish to me, specially when you mentioned she worships a stepfather who gives her things. She's not a teenager anymore and should be more reflective and mature towards that.

I don't believe in "your mother is your mother and you should praise here forever" thing or any kind of cosmic binding between family members. Sometimes you have a ***** of a mother who is really toxic there's nothing that could make that relationship work. For example, if I had my grandmother as a mother I would go no contact forever and nothing she would do could make me change my mind. However, it's definitely not your case. It seems your daughter is being reaaaally unfair.

I don't know, I'm not a mother and I'm led to think mothers are unable... stay way from their kids, but what if she refuses to understand you even with the letter? Will you keep trying?