Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
Would you say this was a result of an emotional crisis due to significant loss? Which can test one's purpose in life. Was there any leave of absence options with the current employer? Was counseling ever an option? How long is he giving himself, to see results?
Going through a financial hardship such as a layoff doesn't mean a pattern of financial instability, like I was curious if existed. When about to marry, my home experienced the first wave of recessions during the new millennium. My then husband did find work, but felt a bit demeaning as it was different than what he was accustomed to, and as he turned 40 with a baby on the way, he turned in his keys. Was then able to immediately regain them and stayed for the next twelve years. A one year mark on a job that replaced one that he stayed at fifteen years prior with major life changes about to incur was a milestone. Yet, because he stayed, granted this summer another upheaval after a major buyout made official in April, he brings a skillset to his new employer that he'd never have had if not for pushing through that hurdle.
I've never once felt like I was the main financial provider with him in the picture, nor would he hear of such a thing.
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I would say that a lot of this has to do with the recent loss of his mother and our friend. He took a leave of absence when we found out his mother was sick. He flew back to the Midwest (We live in Oregon) to help out while she was sick and was there when she passed. He stayed long enough to help his sister with the estate and then he came back to Oregon. He worked part time for a little bit and then got the promotion to full time. We were able to take off work long enough to attend our friend's funeral.
He's been unhappy in the full time job-- he thinks it's below him. He's a multi tasker and the position had him stuck in one spot throughout the day. He needs to move around and feel useful-- but the position was a stepping stone to management position, which he thrives at. His depression seems to be getting deeper over the last few months. We talked about counseling but he's not interested. He barely talks to me when he's upset.
He was drinking 2-3 beers every night after work. He hasn't drank anything since he stepped down to part time. I'm not implying he's an alcoholic-- but that was what he was doing to unwind each night.
All in all.. I know he wasn't happy in the position.. I suggested finding another job. I don't want him to be stuck in a job that makes him so unhappy-- I'm more upset with the lying and doing everything behind my back and only finding out 2 weeks after the fact.