I'm not a wise person myself, but your situation seems very familiar to me, so here's my two cents:
Quote:
Originally Posted by nowhere46
I have just stayed. For years trying to make him happy, then trying to beg him to change, then eventually just giving up more and more until I have, and am, basically nothing.
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People are who they are, they don't "change". They may temporarily adapt to circumstances for whatever reason, if they see the need for it... which may be perceived as "change".
But in the end, when things settle, they always turn back to their own self. Such is the selfish nature of humans.
Without going into much detail, I know of plenty of women in my own extended family who are wasting their lives away, waiting for their husbands/partners to "change".
...
Anyway, you know what you need to do. And you'll need support, because you cannot do all that on your own.
First, you need help getting your mental health sorted, then after that... you will need help getting your life back on track. And if that means getting a divorce, so be it. You gotta take care of yourself first.
If you have family members around (parents/brothers/sisters/uncles/aunties/cousins/etc), it's time to call on them for help.
As for your husband,
unless he is also suffering from depression himself, he is the one who should be ashamed of himself.
...
I wish you the best. Good luck!