T, I know that it's due to my current suicidal thoughts and distorted ideas but talking to you on the phone twice a day feels a little odd. It's not so much the phone call I get from you at 9pm but the phone call you ask me to make to you at 5:30am, when I wake up. I'm not even thinking clearly at that time of the morning. I know that you have seen me after just waking and you've even seen me in bed, both at the hospital. Hearing your morning voice though seems like something you would want to keep from me. I'm sure you have considered that the Borderline in me is still alive and well even though it's my depression that is rearing it's ugly head. There's no way that you would know that I would get excited to hear your morning voice. I am thinking about telling you this but then again I know that once I'm more stable the calls will end so maybe I should just keep quiet about it and try to keep a check on the Borderline stuff.