well, to add fuel to the fire is the fact that her step-dad's girlfriend is all chummy with her. And yes, the man is a charismatic narcissist that just draws people in.

Anyway, you are right, my problem is with her not with him - or at least that is entirely a seperate issue.

I've sat down this morning and written what I think is a positive letter. I've tried to stay cheerful with mixing in the 'wish I played a bigger part in your life' 'think it might be nice to hear from you now and then' 'perhaps you forgot to let me know you were leaving the country' etc. It was hard to write and not be accusational or fill it with 'shoulds' and 'outght to's'. It was hard not to fill it with my pain and sorrow. But I think I got it done. I'll sit on it a few days though.