Maybe you are attracted to what you don't know. Maybe she is mysterious and has a vibe to her. It is like falling for the "bad boy/girl" over and over again. But it is like eating cotton candy - sweet at first, but really unhealthy. What do you want to do with our life is the question? Maybe that's the key. Do you want health and peace of mind? Go with your reason. Do you want drama and struggle? Go back to that girl who used you to to get things done. The struggle is real, but from reading your posts I got the impression that you are done with the drama lady and wanted a life that's more realistic. I may be wrong though