Mandyfins, I just read your initial post. It makes my heart heavy to know you have been through so much. I can relate to “not making the grade.” My life motto seemed to be “you’re not worthy.” They sound a lot alike. All through my childhood I was shown and told I was not good enough or that I was a source of shame. It is such a hard struggle to try to face all of it in therapy. You sound like a very strong woman—you have been put through so much and yet you are fighting to get better. Keep with it—keep fighting.