It's been near 6 yrs and 2 relationships since, but my ex husband of 16yrs still is a thorn in my side and I'm not coping well.

I've ranted about him in other posts; about his behaviour when we were together, about his hoarding and hiding of money, the affairs etc

I've had a really hard time watching his gloriously wonderful life from afar when I really don't have one at all in comparison.

He's got it all - including my children's love and attention. It is not as bad with my son as it is with my daughter, but they are caught up in his wonderful life while paying little or no attention to mine. As I've posted elsewhere, my daughter is pretty well not in my life at all. I can't compete with the paid for vacations, the money for downpayments on cars, and the wild fun.

Yes, I'm intensely jealous - wouldn't you be? I'm full of deep resentment and bitterness. He stole my life while we were together, and he has stolen the most important things I have.

Anyway, jeesh. I had to rant.

Am I a bad person for wishing that all the heartache and grief of his actions catch up with him? Am I a bad person to wish that my children regain their senses and realize what a wretch he is? Gosh, I just want my children back.