Exactly. It was about not having a serious sit down discussion with planning. It was rash and abrasive.
How does he propose to make this up, to you?

Sounds like something inside his personality that amplifies with depression symptoms. His identity sounds in conflict. His unwillingness to talk might be due to not having insight as to what it is that eats at him. Counseling truly can be hit or miss, so I probably wouldn't make that a must. If they're just going to sit there and let the therapist do all the talking, probably not conducive to change. My exhusband said of anger management, that it was one on one and like I described and didn't magically make the inner turmoil go away. He tried zoloft without therapy and said he felt strange.

We can only attend to ourselves.