T,

i know i send you lots of texts about you being dead, are you dead, etc. you always respond back to me to let me know you are alive (even though a lot of the time you say you are dead and a zombie now [emoji14]). my fears about you dying get kinda intense and with time i convince myself that you have died and then i think 'what now.' then i text you and you let me know you are alive and i feel relieved. thank you for letting me know you are still alive all these times , i hope my fear and obsession with your death eases up soon. i want to ask you, do you feel at peace with death? the death of others? the fact that you are going to die? i dont. i find it all unsettling and terrible.

me