thanx almeda.. i try very hard to be upfront about what i want/need... i wrote him a LOT of letters in the beginning so as to help him get to know me sooner and more candidly than i might be in person at first. i struggled through a lot of trying to understand what i wanted from him and what he could expect from me. i am doing my best to make the most of this.

doing therapy at all right now is a challenge on many fronts... i wonder if now is such a good time to open up so many things. i'm not a halfway person.. if i am going to be there, i want to get the full monty, not just a patch job to get me through.

there is just so much crisis around me though, i wonder what therapy can even offer me right now, other than just crisis support or suicide intervention.... and really, that is available in other forms for much cheaper than therapy.