My tablet misfunctioned, so had to start another post to finish.

Zorja, Re-read the things you first posted that I've quoted in my post above.

He told you he wanted to quit his full-time job, and you replied that you "weren't comfortable" with that. That was a mistake. A better response would have been, "No, Honey, you can't afford to do that. We are barely surviving as it is with both of us working full-time."

That is the reality of the situation, and you are the realist. So, now, you will have a few less nickles to spend when you need some new underwear or some other little item that you have a right to get yourself. Okay, with scrounging, maybe you will keep the roof over both your heads, but it will be more challenging than it's already been. You are now partially supporting him. That's why I said what I said. He is now your dependent. And he doesn't mind that . . . because when a woman loves you, she should be willing to take care of you . . . if she "believes" in you. He wants you to be his mother.

He is not depressed because his mother died. Everybody's mother dies eventually. That is cause for grief. Grief, even when it is profound, does not automatically cause depression. He's depressed because he doesn't like having adult responsibilities. He doesn't just hate that particular job he had. He hates the idea of having to go to work full-time anywhere. He hates that he can't make a living from his art. That's what is depressing him. So he has decided to retreat into a dream world, and you are a real stinker, if you won't believe in him. That's where he is coming from, IMHO.

The question is what do you do now? First, you've got to recognize what's going on here. You can keep making excuses for him, or you can recognize that he is running from responsibility. Plus, he's putting more responsibility on you. He wants you to shoulder more, so he can shoulder less. Simple as that. He wants to be taken care of.

No amount of him sitting in a therapist's office is going to make him not want what he wants. Maybe he is not a good enough artist to support himself by his art. Or maybe there just isn't enough of a market for what he produces. Sometimes people have to face that a dream just isn't going to come true. I've heard of people starving and suffering for their art. That can be a testament to their courage and faith in their calling. But asking someone else to suffer for your ambition is a whole other story.

I think your first reaction to your s.o.'s decision to cut his hours was a fair and reasonable reaction. It will be interesting to see how he responds to the belt tightening that this reduction in income causes. Maybe he'll start complaaining that there aren't enough goodies in the refrigerator. See just how willing he is to make real sacrifices for the freedom to pursue his art.