When I was a teenager and thought about my life and relationships, I always dreamed to be one man woman and expected my man to be one woman man. My fried would say I'm expecting too much and I would say that I would be giving that.
Today when I look past, I can see irony. I had been physically close with two men, first one was engaged going to marry and second one is married (not happily married but doesn't want separation either). How did I end up like this?Could I've imagined myself to be here 12-14 years back?
And I feel too polluted to go in for nice person. Deep down I know I never started or chased for those relationships, they just came on me. I feel filthy.