Thanks for all your replies, I appreciate it.

I feel disgusted by myself I think because of partly my families religion (catholic) not because my family have ever mentioned masturbating or give an opinion on it. I think the other thing is as I'm done I lose all interest in it and feel quite down afterwards. I think you're right about binges, if I start to think about related to it, it turns into having to do it and nothing else matters, but when I'm done all interest in anything like that goes.

I'm struggling to grow up I think, I've always been quite serious, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, party or anything like that because I don't see the point in it. I feel kind of like I'm still a teenager, and I'm desperate to not get stuck in the adult cycle (Work your whole life, then die) I want to make a difference, but I'm all over the place. To me masturbating and sex were never of much interest until this masturbating thing started. Sorry if this sounds all over the place, but I don't talk to many people and my thoughts tend to bottle up