I don't want them but I keep going there, i have studied ways and stuff .I don't want to think like that . It will hurt the people I care about in many ways . I try to get mind to stop punishing me but it is not working. try to meditate and get the mind to obey and stop thinking that way . I try to get enough sleep but the days are bad and I have talked to friends until I am burning them up . Nothing is working very well . I am in my seventh week of this nervous break down my vibrating nervous system doesn't let up even with some meds . I worked very hard physically in the first two weeks but that just burn't me out and took me down . Now everything overwhelms me . I try to hide out somedays and that backfires and I feel very guilty not leaving my room. I increased my meds is there any time frame I can look forward to. Desperate !