I have been depressed as long as I can remember. When I was young it came with the face of in a troubled teen. My family wrote it off as a phase when they found out, it wasn't.

Since then I've research and studied psychology, depression and a few other things in a bit to help myself through the years. I now have a great understanding with good amount of knowledge of the human mind and emotional system. This hasn't helped me fix anything but with it, I found a few work arounds that helped subdue the issue.

I liken it to almost split personalities (which it isn't), but I use that to explain it. It's like my issues are a caged beast, waiting to be let loose. I let those feelings happen. I let them come through as they naturally would. But I try to overlay the ideas and feelings I truly want. No one around me has a clue. It works fairly well. I go about my days with a smile knowing what's hiding inside me. Every once and awhile it surfaces. When it does, it's really bad, and through all these years I'm getting tired. It's exhausting me. The lack of sleep,will to move forward, and difficulty to grasp on to any passions I have left is draining. It's all slowly sucking the life from me. I question if one day I'll crack through the pressure, and if I do, what will happen through it all.

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