Hi Sun no shine,
How are you now?


I am sorry you have been through so much and really, truly hope you find some hope soon.
Try not to worry about the 'labels' that have been given to you if they are not helpful. Some Pdocs hand them out like sweets while others refuse to give diagnoses to people who want them as they don't want the label to define the person.

I try to accept whatever helps me gain insight which will help me towards recovery or better coping and ignore the rest.

Be kind to yourself as much as you can, YOU deserve it.