For the last month, I've been attending a private school for my senior year. I hate it. I want to go back to homeschooling like I did last year. Some of my family threatened to cut off contact with me if I left the school I'm at now, saying it makes me a quitter even though I would be continuing my education.

I have no other friends. All I have is a few family members. Obviously I don't want to disappoint my parents even though my mom is okay with me going back to homeschooling. I don't know about my dad... But then my aunts, cousins and even my godmother don't seem to think homeschooling is a valid from of education. They say I need to be around people which is definitely true but if push comes to shove and I never overcome this severe contempt for being surrounded by others, there is always online school and working from home (I have faith in myself that it won't come to that). I try to tell them they shouldn't worry.

I understand that my family cares about me and my future but giving me this ultimatum is making me loathe school even more. I feel pressure to do everything that way they expect or did themselves. But I want a relationship with them. I don't want to be completely alone. The feeling of school makes me feel sick. The feeling of being shunned by my family makes me feel sick. It's like a lose-lose situation.

I've been feeling really miserable lately because I have no idea what to do. I've been trying to push myself to keep going but I WANT TO LEAVE. I cry every morning before school because I regret starting something I should've know I couldn't finish. I thought that since this was my last year, I'd be okay.... I hate myself for being such a p****