I have been in a relationship with a man for 12 years. It was a very tough relationship. Anytime life would present something sad or if I expressed something negative...it inevitably blew up into a fight, followed by how he was the one who was wronged. And the only way peace would resume is if I sucked it up and put a band-aid on it. There could never be a healthy discussion. As long as we lived in his Peter Pan happy-land....things were fine..and great! He can not handle conflict, sadness, disappointment. When we argue he vanishes, won't make eye contact, trivializes things, flips around facts and words, takes no responsibility,

I have broken up with him a few times. The last time, I went full on no-contact for 3 months (which he never lets me forget, despite explaining to him why I felt the need to go that route.)

The other day, after a really fun date, I went to show him a project I was working on and super proud of. He looked at it for 1 minute, gave me advice on something small, walked away and asked me where he should hang a picture. But I wasn't done showing him my project or asking him for his thoughts. So I called him on it. I said...I help you with so many things and share all of your interests. So how come you can't do the same for me? World War 3 broke out and once again, he found a way to blame me for something and not own anything.

He then vanished for a period of 48 hours. I saw him today and he told me that his his life is a mess (drama, drama, tears, tears) and he needs to get himself in order.And maybe when the dust settles, we can figure something out. I said what I needed to say, I wished him luck with his stuff and walked away.

I came home and felt like I should get in bed and be morn this. Figure myself out a bit. After 20 minutes of laying there waiting for the anxious and sad feeling to hit me....but it never did. Three hours later it still hasn't. I feel okay. I don't THINK I am numb. I do not feel anxious or sad or obsessed or panicked. Instead, I feel okay.

Why do I feel okay? Or am I kidding myself?